When you meet a potential roommate, you want that meeting, hopefully, to reveal whether or not you can live together. Be honest about your lifestyle details, but also consider that you are meeting a stranger, and use common-sense caution when it comes to talking about yourself.
Use a questionnaire
Before a protracted roommate interview, you might try screening your potential roommates with a questionnaire to help quickly identify any “deal-breakers” in your mutual lifestyle habits. A questionnaire may reveal habits that make it clear whether the two of you would make a compatible roommate pairing. Share your own honest responses and you can usually quickly discover why it will or will not work, without an overly lengthy or uncomfortable conversation.
List your feelings and habits in regard to food, pets, late hours and social activities, such as whether you regularly have friends over and at what hours. Do you have religious, dietary, cleanliness or environmental requirements (peace and quiet, for instance) that you need to discuss with your potential roommate?
Don’t over-share at first
The questionnaire should assess whether there is fundamental compatibility between you and your roommate-to-be. As you share, however, don’t offer any personal details, such as where you work or study, or what time you come and go — remember, you don’t know your prospective roommate yet.
There may come a point in an apartment roommate interview — perhaps at the very first moment — when your gut tells you that you will not be happy with the other person as a roommate. In that case, you might ask the person to leave his completed questionnaire and explain that you’ll contact him if you have more questions. Don’t feel that you have to engage in further conversation just for the sake of appearances.
Don’t be afraid to ask hard questions
When you decide to sit down to a roommate interview with a candidate who passes your initial approval, your instinct will be to be friendly and conversational. You and your potential roommate will probably want to be as likeable as possible to give a good impression. Be aware, however, that a superficial chat could gloss over important differences between you which might prove important after you decide to share an apartment together.
If you hit it off well and seem to be nearing some kind of mutual agreement on your compatibility, be sure you that you’ve both shared all the answers on the questionnaire and explored the nuances beyond them. How do you and your potential roommate like to prepare meals? What do you both do in your leisure time? Are you night owls or morning people? Does one or the other have a romantic partner who would spend the night?
Be sure to cover all of the possible points of conflict so that you can both make the right decision about sharing an apartment, even if it takes a bit of discomfort to find out.
A roommate search can sometimes feel like a dating scenario — do you like each other enough, share the same interests and have the common ground needed for a beautiful relationship? Find out whether you’re an obvious match or mismatch with a questionnaire, and then get down to discussing the details with candidates who pass your “instinct test.” After all, the success of your roommate relationship lies in getting and sharing the information that is pertinent to both of you living together happily and successfully.
