We’ve all had them — roommates that flipped out, went silent or drove us slowly crazy. When you have an apartment roommate, you benefit from sharing rent and having instant company — and you also have someone around who might occasionally make you feel miserable.
So what should you do when roommate drama rears its ugly head? We’ve got some ideas on how to deal with it.
Be pre-emptive
One of the best ways to head off roommate drama is to choose your roommate (or mates) wisely. Living together means sharing a lot of things, whether you intend to or not. If your expectations of each other don’t match, then the road to conflict has been paved from the very beginning. For example, roommates with different cleaning habits are likely to rub each other the wrong way. The cleaner one will either get resentful or feel like a nag. Roommates who have different ideas about whether or not they will be friends, as well as roommates, may also end up in an unhappy situation. And for the apartment roommate who is co-habitating with someone in a precarious financial situation, money can become a serious point of conflict.
Put it all on the table right from the start — before there IS a start, ideally. Be up-front about the kind of housekeeper you are and what you’re looking for in a roommate, be it BFF or virtual stranger. And if you are still in the roommate auditioning phase, you can attempt to protect yourself from financial strain by assessing the potential roommate’s financial situation before you agree to live with that person.
Be direct
People often turn out to have hidden qualities – and not all good ones, either. It’s best to confront your apartment roommate and deal with the drama as soon as things start to go south. Enough slammed doors, nasty notes or lapsed chores can damage relations beyond repair; if tension is growing in your household, head it off at the pass. Do your best to have a calm and productive conversation that focuses on the issues. Refrain from making threats or name-calling.
Don’t let it get you down
Living together brings out some very primal instincts in people. After all, we’re dealing with fundamental items like territory, shelter…The Cave. You might not need to see eye to eye with your roommate on every issue, but even small disagreements can grow to mammoth proportions when they take place in the home you share.
A great way to handle household drama is to keep yourself centered. When you are able to keep your daily life on a more or less even keel, you may find you are less affected by the moods (or mood swings) of another person. Then, if your apartment roommate starts to act weird, you are less likely to take their behavior personally. Something in the living situation may have gone wrong, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to do with you as an individual, or that it can’t be repaired with good communication.
Living together is about interacting at a basic level with people we often don’t know very well, or don’t know well as roommates. Sooner or later, you may very well have to deal with drama. Try to choose your roommates carefully to begin with, but when conflict does arrive, address it quickly — and know that it’s not the end of the world.
So what should you do when roommate drama rears its ugly head? We’ve got some ideas on how to deal with it.
Be pre-emptive
One of the best ways to head off roommate drama is to choose your roommate (or mates) wisely. Living together means sharing a lot of things, whether you intend to or not. If your expectations of each other don’t match, then the road to conflict has been paved from the very beginning. For example, roommates with different cleaning habits are likely to rub each other the wrong way. The cleaner one will either get resentful or feel like a nag. Roommates who have different ideas about whether or not they will be friends, as well as roommates, may also end up in an unhappy situation. And for the apartment roommate who is co-habitating with someone in a precarious financial situation, money can become a serious point of conflict.
Put it all on the table right from the start — before there IS a start, ideally. Be up-front about the kind of housekeeper you are and what you’re looking for in a roommate, be it BFF or virtual stranger. And if you are still in the roommate auditioning phase, you can attempt to protect yourself from financial strain by assessing the potential roommate’s financial situation before you agree to live with that person.
Be direct
People often turn out to have hidden qualities – and not all good ones, either. It’s best to confront your apartment roommate and deal with the drama as soon as things start to go south. Enough slammed doors, nasty notes or lapsed chores can damage relations beyond repair; if tension is growing in your household, head it off at the pass. Do your best to have a calm and productive conversation that focuses on the issues. Refrain from making threats or name-calling.
Don’t let it get you down
Living together brings out some very primal instincts in people. After all, we’re dealing with fundamental items like territory, shelter…The Cave. You might not need to see eye to eye with your roommate on every issue, but even small disagreements can grow to mammoth proportions when they take place in the home you share.
A great way to handle household drama is to keep yourself centered. When you are able to keep your daily life on a more or less even keel, you may find you are less affected by the moods (or mood swings) of another person. Then, if your apartment roommate starts to act weird, you are less likely to take their behavior personally. Something in the living situation may have gone wrong, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to do with you as an individual, or that it can’t be repaired with good communication.
Living together is about interacting at a basic level with people we often don’t know very well, or don’t know well as roommates. Sooner or later, you may very well have to deal with drama. Try to choose your roommates carefully to begin with, but when conflict does arrive, address it quickly — and know that it’s not the end of the world.
